Else
by Upside-Up
Summary: Majorly AU. Written before "The Rough Patch." Slightly angsty, slightly fluffy. "Robin keeps leaving messages like they might make a difference, now. Like the damage hasn’t already been done; like he isn’t already somebody new." Rating for some swears.


"Robin, are you okay?"

She flinches because it's such a stupid, stupid question. It's been three days and no one has seen Barney, heard from him. She's called his phone so many times she could dial him in her sleep. Of course she isn't okay.

Ted keeps looking at her like it's her fault and he's right, of course. Stupid Ted is always right.

Marshall is blending in to the background, trying to be strong for Lily but really just being absolutely useless to anyone. He's probably worried, but hell if she can tell.

Lily is the one captaining this capsizing ship, making phone calls, sending the men to Barney's apartment, calling the police. Acting like this couldn't have been prevented. Sparing Robin's feelings.

Robin just keeps calling that familiar number, keeps leaving messages like they might make a difference, now. Like the damage hasn't already been done; like he isn't already somebody new.

She shakes her head and shrugs off her friend's embrace. She curls into herself and cries. She wonders who she is now.

* * *

"Maybe you're right, Barney. Maybe we're not cut out for this."

They're fighting and it's the first time they've really fought. They've argued, bickered, and almost always ended up laughing or having sex. Now they're fighting. And she's learning very quickly how easily her words can cut him.

"Goddamnit, Robin, that's not what I'm saying and you know that."

"Aren't you sick of being in this time-bomb of a relationship?"

"That isn't what I said."

"It's exactly what you said, Barney. If you're so afraid that things are going to end badly, you clearly have no confidence in me. In us."

"That's not what I meant, Robin!"

He's frustrated but she's hurt and upset and she isn't listening. Before she knows what's happening the words have left her mouth and he's left standing alone in his apartment.

"You know what? Just forget the whole thing, Barney. We're better off without each other. I'm done."

She should have known he's not the type to follow her.

* * *

They blame her, of course, but they can't stand to lose another friend, so they stand by her. Ted calls her work and claims a death in the family and Lily comes over to do her hair and make sure she's eating. Marshall blends into the background and basically helps no one, but it's actually kind of nice knowing he's there.

After a few weeks they stop going to MacLaren's because it just _sucks_ now and they find a place a few blocks over with fewer beers on tap but fewer memories, too. Robin drinks a little more than before, but no one says anything.

He comes up in conversation now and again, but it hurts when they all suddenly realize that none of them is smiling anymore.

Ted meets the love of his life and Robin moves uptown.

It takes a lot of trying, and a lot of doctors, money and time, but Lily and Marshall finally get pregnant. It only happens once. A miracle, Marshall says, and Robin just nods. She loves the baby more than she expected to, and takes Ted aside to thank him for being her friend, for_ staying_ her friend after... She's sure he'll pass the message along to the other two.

Ted gets engaged. So does Robin, but its messy and wrong and it ends and she's _okay, she swears_. When Ted finally sets a wedding date she hops in a cab and drives to Barney's mother's house. For the first time in five years, Loretta answers the door and lets her inside.

* * *

It isn't until Robin is nestled into Loretta's floral patterned couch with a cup of tea in her hand that Robin breaks down, lets all of her pain and hurt and _regret_ pour onto the smooth silk of Loretta's blouse. She doesn't have to beg for information, but she does anyway. Ted's getting married after all. He needs his co-best man.

Loretta is sweet, as always. Even before shutting her door in Robin's face all those times, she'd been sweet. She says she doesn't care what Barney says, five years is long enough to be away from the people who mean something to you.

Turns out he's been in Vegas. This whole, god-damned, time.

He's a lawyer down there, and, pardon? But that's what his mother says, so either he's telling the truth or he's into some scary, scary shit.

Loretta gives her his cell number and for once Robin doesn't cry. She squashes the older woman into a hug that isn't quite awkward and murmurs "I missed you, Mrs. Stinson."

Loretta's smile is teary and she replies, "I always liked you more than the others, Robin."

Robin nods and spends the entire cab ride back to her apartment staring at the newest number in her contacts list.

* * *

Instead of calling, she takes time off work and flies to Vegas. Hey, no one ever said Robin Sherbatsky wasn't masochistic.

Loretta told her he's going by Bradley now, and she hates the way it sounds. Bradley doesn't suit him at all. She looks up his firm and finds the bar nearest where his office would be.

She sits at the bar and orders a scotch, neat, and waits. She scans the room for a shock of blonde, for a well-tailored suit.

Three hours later she feels like a moron and gets a hotel room. She orders room service and stares at the lights of the strip. She wonders what her friends are doing, how the baby is, where the hell Barney could possibly be.

She wonders when he became the only person for her and wonders if that makes her sad.

At around 1 in the morning, she finally gets up the courage to call his number. She uses the hotel's phone, even while chastising herself for thinking he'd recognize her number.

He answers.

"Bradley Stinson," like it's the most normal thing in the world.

She lets out a squeak and then inhales, shakily. There's a long pause and, god, she wishes she'd rehearsed this. His voice is so familiar on the other end of the line. "Hello?"

And then, she can't stop herself.

"Barney, it's Robin. Sherbatsky. I'm… um, I'm in Vegas. I came here for you. Where are you?" She feels so, so stupid, but she's been more stupid in the past and if she's honest with herself, all she has left to lose is on the other end of the telephone.

The pause that follows her insane rambling almost breaks her.

Then, "where are you? I'll send a cab."

It should make her feel better, but his tone is flat and she's worried. She tells him the address of her hotel and the line goes dead.

* * *

She's somehow surprised when he isn't in the cab that pulls up.

She's still surprised when it takes her only a few blocks over, to the building she knows to house his law offices. It is one in the morning, after all. She'd expect him to be anywhere but at work. She looks at her watch, still on New York time, and realizes that Lily will be up with the baby soon, and that she'll probably call.

Ever since her broken engagement, she has been able to feel their concern on the back of her neck. Maybe they were right to be worried. She had flown to Vegas out of nowhere, after all.

The cab stops and the driver waves off her offered cash, and Robin steps out into the hot Vegas night. In the lobby, she sees his new name emblazoned on a directory sign. She hits the button for the 19th floor and fixes her hair in the reflective doors of the elevator.

When the doors open she steps out into his new, dimly lit life. The secretary's desk is vacant, as are most of the offices, and she follows the only light she can see to Barney's office, her hands shaking and her heels clicking against the hardwood floor.

* * *

His hair is longer than she remembers, and he has a beard. A very nice, well-trimmed, masculine beard. He's gained a few pounds, but it looks good on him. And he's wearing jeans.

She looks around his office to avoid looking at his eyes. It's all windows and long curtains. There isn't a motivational poster to be seen. The room is big and open and she feels exposed standing there. His desk is big and cluttered. He stands, but doesn't step out from behind it.

Finally she looks at his eyes and they're the same as always; blue, penetrating. Except the sadness is less concealed than it always had been.

Despite herself, Robin starts to cry.

Despite himself, Barney steps to comfort her.

She leans into his embrace and wraps her arms around him. He rubs her back like a stranger would, and he smells different, but he's more familiar than anything in her life has been lately. He strokes her hair and she presses her face into his neck and tells him that she loves him accidentally. He leads her to one of the soft leather chairs in front of his desk and sits in the one beside it.

When she calms down, he asks her how she found him.

"Your mom told me," she says. She asks how he's been. He only half smiles and gestures at his office, at his life now.

"You know, I do okay."

There's a long silence, and she doesn't know if he wants to know about home, about their friends. She's not new to carving new identities, after all.

He asks, though, finally. And she tells him about Ted and his upcoming wedding; tells him about Lily and Marshall and the miracle baby; tells him about her news anchor job and her failed engagement.

He tells her about his new job; about his new city, new friends; tells her about his brother's adopted twins and the DNA test he did to find his real father; tells her he caught her show a few times; tells her he's missed her.

She doesn't ask about the framed picture of a little boy on his desk, tells him she's missed him too, and her phone rings.

* * *

She has to explain her whereabouts to a freaking-out Lily, and has to promise to come home. She hands the phone to Barney and watches as his eyes soften. Barney is speaking gibberish now and he must to talking to the baby. He hands her the phone back with tears in his eyes.

He books her a flight home. He promises to come up as soon as he can get the time off of work. He doesn't promise that anything will be legen - wait for it – dary, doesn't spout off any rules or make any jokes about the mile-high club, but he's Barney and Robin feels lighter.

When she touches down at JFK and Ted and his fiancée are there to meet her, she has news and she's smiling more than she has in years.

At Ted's wedding, Robin stands up beside Marshall and Barney. The service is beautiful and both Ted and his fiancée, _wife, _are teary; Marshall loses it completely during his toast. Lily spends most of her time making sure her daughter and Barney's son don't get into trouble and Robin holds Barney's hand like it's a lifeline.

* * *

Her life isn't perfect. She never expected it to be, but it's close. Barney is back in New York, having been hired on by Marshall's firm. He's a dad now, something she'd never seen coming but something so fitting, somehow, and the three of them work out something resembling normalcy. Marshall and Lily adopt two more kids and Ted and his wife are expecting their second, a boy, and things are what they are.

He tells her he's not sorry about how things turned out. He loves her and his son and his job and none of it would have happened without her.

Things are so different, now, than they were before, but they still have a night out once in a while, just the six of them. The men still have the odd tuxedo night and Barney can't wait until the kids are old enough to train for laser tag.

Robin doesn't feel that stab of guilt anymore, and her friends no longer worry. She's happy, she realizes one day while waiting outside in the cold for her little slow-poke, and it's a real kind of happy. When she gets home Barney is watching Star Wars on the couch and she snuggles in with her boys. She sighs and Barney asks,

"Are you okay, Robin"?

And she doesn't answer, just kisses him, because the question is so, so stupid. She's home and safe and warm with the two most important people in her life.

Of course she's okay.


End file.
